Newsletter

by April Dinwoodie
TRJ Executive Director

For many, January is the month of the "clean slate." But for adopted persons, the start of a year is rarely a blank page. Instead, it is a layer of a much larger, more complex reality. As we open our calendars to 2026, we are invited to look beyond dates and into the profound reality of belonging and adoption.

The Reality of Belonging

Lived experience and research show that finding a sense of belonging is one of the most persistent challenges for adopted persons. Unlike children raised in their biological families, we must navigate a sense of belonging that spans family of origin, adoptive family, systems, communities, and the world at large.

For transracially adopted persons, this is further intensified by the "transracial adoption paradox." It is the experience of feeling like an "invisible majority" within the safety of our homes—where we are loved and known—while simultaneously being a "visible minority" in the world. This paradox can make a simple walk through a park or a first day at a new school feel like an exercise in managing other people's perceptions and questions.

Studies indicate that 58% of transracial adopted persons report experiencing racial microaggressions in school settings, highlighting the importance of building identity safety early.

The Threads of Belonging

The thread that ties our 2026 Parent Guide and our Conversation Cards together is the belief that belonging is not a destination we reach once; it is a daily practice. Research consistently demonstrates that when parents move beyond a "color-blind" approach and actively acknowledge adoption-related complexities, their children report a significantly stronger sense of belonging. By naming these differences—including race, culture, and origin—we create a family culture where truth can live alongside love. Mapping what matters in January is our first step in ensuring that no part of a child's identity has to disappear to fit into the family rhythm.

3 Ways to Map Your Year with Intention

1. Honor the Origins: Mark special days connected to your child's family of origin, even if the exact dates are unknown. Use language like: “Without them, there is no you.”
2. Center Cultural Rhythm: Don't just wait for a specific "history month" to celebrate your child's race. Integrate cultural holidays and heritage markers into your year-round plan so they are part of your family’s everyday fabric.
3. Prepare for the "Tender" Days: Identify the days that might bring "big feelings"—anniversaries of transitions, birthdays, or losses—and build in extra gentleness. These may not be days to "fix," but days to notice.

Building the Skills for Dialogue

We know that this level of openness can feel difficult. It requires a specific set of skills to talk about separation, identity, and race without fear or defensiveness. That is why we are so committed to our 2026 Virtual Parent & Family Group pilot program. These sessions are designed to be a practice ground where you can develop the vocabulary and the courage to meet your child exactly where they are.

As we map out this year, let’s commit to making our calendars a shared space for noticing feelings and naming differences. The brightest path to belonging begins with you.

Listen to "Calendar Conversations: A Guide for Adoptive Parents" by April Dinwoodie

Join Us on the Journey

Don’t navigate these complexities alone. Join our first virtual session of the year on January 14th at 7:00 PM EST as we dive deeper into "Mapping What Matters." We will discuss practical ways to integrate the family of origin and racial heritage into your family’s year-round calendar.

Register For A Year-Round Community of Learning, Support, and Connection for Adoptive Families

January is a time when folks traditionally take stock of where they are and may even make some resolutions for a new diet, more time exercising, or commitments to spending quality time with family and friends. For families that extend through transracial adoption, January can offer a time to think about the year ahead and together as a family, continue the expansive journey of authentically navigating family and differences together with purpose and joy.

Related article for parents' reflection: January: Honoring Family Connections Through the Calendar

TRJ Conversation Cards

Our Executive Director, April Dinwoodie, has created conversation cards that help families make space for ongoing conversations about adoption and differences of race and culture. The TRJ card deck contains 3 cards for each month that the children use to ask their parents questions, that parents can use for quiet reflection. Some families leave the deck somewhere visible and pick a card at random, some families follow the monthly prompts. No matter how you use your cards, you’ll find a pathway to a more active and authentic holding of the complexities of transracial adoption so you and your family can live with authenticity, purpose, and joy. Below are the questions for January. Before getting started, read the parent tip. Families that attend our annual camp receive a set of the cards and if you’d like a set please email [email protected].

January Tips for Parents: Do some pre-planning so that you have time to process some of the harder anniversaries or days on the calendar before discussing with children. Have some ideas to share for new dates to mark on the calendar so your children can react and be inspired to think about what they’d like to add as well.

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Transracial Adoptee Conversation Cards

Transracial Adoptee Conversation Cards

Transracial Adoptee Conversation Cards

CARD ONE: Identifying with the calendar as individuals and as a family

• What are your most and least favorite holidays and why?
• What are some of your most and least favorite times of year and why?
• Are there holidays that you’d rather not acknowledge but feel you have to?

CARD TWO: Relationships

• What are ways you can celebrate the happiest days of the year?
• How can you honor the saddest days and find ways to prepare for what might be hard?

CARD THREE: Embracing and Facing Differences of Race and Culture

• What are some holidays that you have not traditionally celebrated that you could add to the calendar?
• What do you need to know about any new holidays that you might add to the calendar?

This post is from our January, 2026, e-newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, please subscribe.

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by April Dinwoodie
TRJ Executive Director

Growing up as a mixed-race Black child adopted into a white family, the holidays were full of excitement — the lights, the treats, the special once-a-year traditions.

But they were also exhausting.

Exhaustion from wondering about my family of origin.
Exhaustion from not seeing myself reflected anywhere around the table.
Exhaustion from hearing racially or culturally insensitive comments from extended family members.
Exhaustion from pretending everything felt the same for me as it did for everyone else.

What I needed wasn’t more gifts —
it was more understanding.
More curiosity.
More emotional support.
More space for all of who I was.

As I plan for the holidays this year and revisit the principles of Kwanzaa, I’m reminded that this celebration offers more than cultural practices — it offers a framework. A way of thinking. A grounding tool for families formed through adoption.

Created by Dr. Maulana Karenga, the seven principles of Kwanzaa — the Nguzo Saba — offer a meaningful structure for connection, reflection, and building family practices that honor identity and belonging. Kwanzaa isn’t something to “add on.”
It’s something that can support us.
It helps families reflect, reconnect, and remake traditions with intention.

And the best part?
You do not have to do all seven principles perfectly.
You can return to them every year, adjusting as your child grows and your family evolves.

Every family is at a different point in their journey.
The work is simply to stretch as far as you truthfully can toward deeper belonging.

Here’s how each principle can gently guide you.

NGUZO SABA FOR ADOPTIVE FAMILIES

(The Seven Principles of Kwanzaa, created by Dr. Maulana Karenga)

1. Umoja — Unity

Meaning: Making sure everyone feels they belong.
Adoption Lens: Unity grows when every child’s identity is honored.
Practice: Ask: “What helps you feel included during our holidays?”

2. Kujichagulia — Self-Determination

Meaning: Being proud of who you are.
Adoption Lens: Let children express and shape their identities openly.
Practice: Explore new holiday traditions and invite children to choose one that reflects their culture or interests.

3. Ujima — Collective Work & Responsibility

Meaning: We build things together.
Adoption Lens: Traditions don’t have to be inherited — they can be co-created.
Practice: Hold a quick “Holiday Check-In”:
What stays? What shifts? What’s something new we create?

4. Ujamaa — Cooperative Economics

Meaning: Supporting our community.
Adoption Lens: Community helps children feel culturally anchored.
Practice: Choose one local Black-owned, Indigenous-owned, or culturally relevant business to support together.

5. Nia — Purpose

Meaning: Knowing why we do what we do.
Adoption Lens: Traditions should support identity and connection, not pressure or performance.
Practice: Ask: “Why does this tradition matter? Whose story does it tell?” Adjust with intention.

6. Kuumba — Creativity

Meaning: Leaving things better than we found them.
Adoption Lens: Creativity helps families navigate complexity and build meaningful rituals.
Practice: Create or adapt one holiday ritual that honors your child’s culture, family of origin, or personal truth.

7. Imani — Faith

Meaning: Believing in ourselves and each other.
Adoption Lens: Children need adults who trust their truths and hold hope for their futures.
Practice: Offer this affirmation:
“All of who you are belongs here.”

As a child, I didn’t have language for what felt missing.
But I knew what belonged — and what didn’t.

This year, let Kwanzaa be an invitation. A tool. A path forward for families willing to stretch toward honesty, identity, and belonging. Because when adoptive parents do even small things to honor the fullness of children.
when they create traditions with them instead of for them — the exhaustion can soften.

And that is the work of remaking what matters.

Practical Tips for Parents

(Choose one or two — a little truly goes a long way.)

• ? Start small. Pick one Nguzo Saba principle to explore this year.
• ? Be honest with yourself. Notice where traditions limit belonging.
• ? Invite your child in. Even one question opens connection.
• ? Adjust as you go. Holidays should evolve with your child’s needs.
• ? Revisit yearly. Belonging grows in layers, not all at once.
• ? Stay curious. Curiosity is more important than getting it “right.”

Most of all:
Stretch as far as you truthfully can — your effort builds a child’s bright path to belonging.

This post is from our December 2025 newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual TRJ Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call providing support for our transracial adoption parents, please subscribe.

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The December holidays give us an opportunity to think about traditions tied to different cultures and religions. Regardless of what you and your family honor and celebrate, we can be inspired to take a closer look at what traditions mean to us and how we can expand our thinking and actions.

Read this month's reflection as well as previous December posts from over the years to help guide you and your family through the ideas of evolving traditions:

• Kwanzaa, Adoption, and the Work of Remaking What Matters
• Making and Breaking Traditions:
• Creating New Traditions to Reflect Our Families and Celebrate Their Identities
• ‘Tis the Season to Reminiscence
• December Pro-Tip to Foster Conversations About Transracial Adoptions

At Transracial Journeys we send out cues for conversations each month. Our Transracial Journeys card deck contains 3 cards for each month that the children use to ask their parents questions. Below are the questions for December. Before getting started, read the parent pro-tip each month.

December Pro-Tip for Parents: Resist the urge to hold tight onto traditions that may be holding you back from fully embracing new ideas that may better honor your child’s culture. Also think about simplifying or modifying some of the traditions you now honor to make room for new ones.

CARD ONE: IDENTITY

• As a kid, did you celebrate any December holidays?
• If so, which ones?

CARD TWO: RELATIONSHIPS

• Were there things that you would do year after year as a family during the month of December or maybe other months of the year?

CARD THREE: EMBRACING AND FACING DIFFERENCES OF RACE AND CULTURE

• What are some new traditions or holidays you’d like to learn more about and/or try?

This post is from our December, 2025, e-newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, please subscribe.

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by April Dinwoodie
TRJ Executive Director

When I was growing up, my mom would always say a beautiful and simple Thanksgiving prayer. Every year, we’d close our eyes, hold hands, and listen to her voice rise and fall. The smell of turkey filled the air, and for a few moments everything felt still. I remember feeling thankful—surrounded by love, warmth, and the familiarity of family.

But I also remember the ache—the quiet wondering. My family of origin was never mentioned among the members of the extended family who were missing and prayed for. I thought of them every year. Were they celebrating too? Did they wonder about me the way I wondered about them?

Now, looking back, I realize that we were closing our eyes in more ways than one. We were closing our eyes to the family that wasn’t there, and to the history of the day itself—the story of this country, the Indigenous lives and legacies that were disrupted, the realities of what was taken and what was lost.

That unspoken tension—the both/and of Thanksgiving—has always lived inside me. The deep thankfulness for what I have, held right alongside the awareness of what’s missing and what must be named.

November and the Table of Truth

As we move into November, which is also National Adoption Awareness Month, the family table takes on even deeper meaning. It becomes a mirror—a place where stories of legacy, history, and belonging meet. For adoptive and especially transracial adoptive families, the holiday table can hold layers of love, difference, and longing all at once.

At Together on the Journey, we know that the table is more than a piece of furniture. It’s a symbol of connection and story. Who gathers around it—and who is missing—tells us a lot about how we understand family.

In my childhood home, we didn’t have words for that complexity, but I felt it deeply. The silence around my family of origin matched the silence around the history of Thanksgiving. Both were wrapped in good intentions, but both left important truths unspoken and left me to navigate the difficulties silently.

This year, instead of closing our eyes, let’s open them together. We can be thankful for the people around us and honest about the people and histories that are missing. We can hold thankfulness and truth at the same table.

Try this:
When it’s time to share what you’re thankful for, add a second invitation:

“What has been hard this year?”

This simple act can open space for honesty, empathy, and connection—reminding everyone that joy and difficulty can live side by side.

Expanding the Story of the Day

For some, Thanksgiving is a treasured family ritual. For others, it’s a reminder of pain and loss. Both truths can coexist. We can be thankful for the love we share while also being mindful of the full story of this day.

Consider how your family names and frames the holiday. Maybe you call it A Day of Thanks and Truth, Harvest Gathering, or simply Family Day. Learn about the Indigenous peoples whose land you live on. Talk about what was taken, not just what was shared. These small shifts don’t erase tradition—they expand it. They help children entrusted to you see that thankfulness and awareness can live together.

Telling the Truth Beautifully

For adopted people, the holidays often carry that same blend of joy and longing. Parents may want to make the day perfect, but what children often need most is honesty, not performance. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is say out loud what everyone already feels.

Maybe that means lighting a candle for a family of origin. Maybe it’s saying, “We’re thankful for those who can’t be here,” and letting that sentence mean many things. It might even mean sitting in quiet reflection, acknowledging both the family gathered and the family unseen.

Making Space for the Whole Story

Every family has its own rhythm, its own version of the both/and. For some, it’s thankfulness and missing pieces. For others, it’s pride and pain, belonging and uncertainty. The goal isn’t to fix or smooth those feelings—it’s to let them breathe.

When we make room for all of it, we teach our children that they don’t have to choose between being thankful and being honest. They can be both.

Try this:
If something hard comes up during the holiday, take a breath before responding. You don’t need the perfect words.

A simple “I hear you” or “That makes sense” can be enough to open connection and build trust.

A Table of Thankfulness and Truth

When I think back to those moments of my childhood—the prayer, the warmth, the silence—I wish we had found words to hold the fullness of our experience. But now I know that each of us can begin again. We can tell new stories. We can open our eyes. We can hold hands across difference and history and say:

“We are thankful for what we have, and we honor what has been lost.”

That’s the table I want us all to set together now—a table where love and truth sit side by side, and where everyone, past and present, has a place.

Reflection Prompts for Families

• What truths about Thanksgiving and adoption have been left unspoken in our home?
• Who is at our table—and who is missing?
• How can we honor both thankfulness and truth in the way we gather?
• What new names, rituals, or stories might reflect our family’s values more fully?

This post is from our November 2025 newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual TRJ Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call providing support for our transracial adoption parents, please subscribe.

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